Cryptic
The Girl Twice Dead,
the Impossible Girl, my story is done.
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My name is Lauryn and I am also called Laurel, Lau, Ryn and Satan but I am glad to go by whatever you would like. I reblog a lot of random things and tag the fandoms I'm in! I enjoy a lot and am easily amused. I also draw sometimes.

Feel free to ask for my skype!

Ponder Your World




vanspoor:

Please tell me this is real. I can imagine Perry’s first line:

"Windows—Could it be any easier to use?”


baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it


renfamous:

British Kitchen Nightmares: “The risotto is overcooked and your restaurant needs new lighting.”

American Kitchen Nightmares: “YOUR STAFF DOES DRUGS ON THE CLOCK, YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE AND THERE’S A LIVE RAT IN MY FOOD.”


neil-gaiman:

youaintpunk:

sarajevomoja:

talk about perspective. shit.

Fucking hell.

I remember the first time I saw a map of Africa to scale. My jaw dropped.



pixienightmaregoddess:

And these are the men making decisions in women’s health. Fantastic.


dion-thesocialist:

Welcome to my twisted mind. Behold this picture of a white woman smoking. Lay witness to some pastel flowers. So fucking twisted.



Word of the day triple play: PLANTIGRADE, DIGITIGRADE, UNGULIGRADE

the-natural-logophile:

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Three forms of terrestrial mammal locomotion:

PLANTIGRADE: “sole walking”—animals walk by “planting” the full soles of their feet on the ground

DIGITIGRADE: “finger/toe walking”—animals walk with all or most of the length of their toes (“digits”), but not the full soles of their feet

UNGULIGRADE: “hoof walking”—animals walk on only their nails, usually hooves (as in “ungulates”)




super1eklectic:

infamousnfamous:

“Hey sexy lemme talk to you”
“No thanks”
“MAN FUCK YOU YOU UGLY ANYWAY HO I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU 1 CAN GET 3 MORE BITCHES THAT LOOK BETTER THAN YOU”


epic-humor:

will do anything for foood


annmariexrose:

Maybe one day I will be this happy.


the-guardian-of-fun:

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

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They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

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update: she caught a squirrel today

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She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

Is she… is she gonna grow up to-
IS SHE STEVE IRWIN?